6 Good Parenting Examples I've Learned from My Parent

While waiting for our son's grand arrival, Deardo and I constantly have sometimes funny and crazy discussions about what kind of education we want to give to our future son, both at home and in school and I'm pretty glad that we both seems to have the same thoughts in this area.

I think when we talk about education at home, we look up a lot at parents around us, especially our very own parents.

While I believe no parent is perfect, including my own, I do believe that there are many good parenting examples I can pick up from my parent that have shaped my siblings and I into who we are today and that are essential when bringing our future son up.

#1 Be Less Judgmental
Note that I said 'less' cos I think no human being can be so perfect that they don't judge people at all. Let's admit it, even when you don't say it out loud, you will somehow think about how someone is fat or ugly in your heart, secretly.

True, growing up in a typical Chinese family, our parent sometimes use darker-skinned people to scare us by saying stuff like "Ah, you don't wanna listen to me then that 'ge leng nga' uncle will take you away ah...". But honestly my parent are the two persons on earth that I know are the type of people who would scold us kaw kaw if we judge someone or call people by names. For instance, we are never allowed to say our friends are smelly, ugly or even their spouses' are ugly; or even calling people 'dua pui' (fatty) or 'siao cha bo' (crazy woman) unless those are the nicknames already given to that particular persons. Of course, their fear is superstitiously that Karma will drop back on us but still, it is a good intention and a very good teaching.

I think Ducum and I have both took this one level up in our lives. We have bunch of friends from different backgrounds, be it races, cultures, family backgrounds, religions or even sexual preferences. I have to admit that studying journalism has taught me a lot too to see things/treat people fairly and open-minded-ly. I truly believe that not all dark-skinned people are bad people, not all Muslims are terrorists, just like not all Chinese are con men. You just have to be careful when making friends and not have the stereotype from the second you meet the persons.

Judgmental words are especially harmful to kids who aren't ready or experienced enough to take them. It really pains me whenever I read news about teenagers or young kids killing themselves because of bullies at school calling them fat, ugly, faggot, gay or whatever it is even when they might not even be one. I'm sure those kids didn't think that simple words like those could become such dangerous murder weapons when they blurted those words. Everything starts from home, so if you teach your kids not to judge people and I don't too then imagine how beautiful the world would be like without those harsh-bashing words flying around them!

At the end of the day, we are all human and if you can be less judgmental, you will actually be much happier and most importantly, have more friends who may be helpful to you in any stage of your life.

#2 Be Kind To Each Other
I must say sometimes my parent are just too kind I think it is wrong.

Papo and Mamo's belief is that no matter what people do to you, you must learn how to forgive and forget. They like to use this Chinese phrase 以德报怨 (treat people well even though that person has treated you badly). Oh, I tell you, until today I find it super hard to do this cos I'm a person who is very 记仇 (have a good memory of anybody treating me badly) and am constantly thinking of ways to get my revenge or at least, do something to proof you wrong.

I think the basic thinking of being kind to people are nevertheless, right, as in you should help whenever possible or at least be kind and polite, but don't overdo it cos in this very generation and society today, you must learn how to be kind, yet to protect yourself at the same time or people will take advantage of your sincerity.

I've been trying myself and will try to tell my son to be kind to people whenever necessary and to give back to the society once in a while, just like his Ah Gong and Ah Ma always do. :)

#3 Giving us a Loving Family
We've been very lucky as we were born and raised in very loving, fun and sometimes, cool families. Of course, there are disagreements here and there, but no big dramas yet like what you see in TVB drama series because I can see how my parent and their siblings are willing to let go and eventually fix problems very peacefully. And I believe that has been passed down to me and my sisters whom despite not always approving of each other's actions, managed to stay as very close siblings who can talk about almost everything when we get together.

I think this is very important because it shapes a kid's character and their belief in love. The closeness my siblings and I have with our aunts, uncle and cousins (especially Mamo's side) have made us all very happy and cheerful kids. In fact, we got whole loads of help from them when we first arrived in KL to further our studies sometimes I feel like crying every time I think about how 4e drove all the way from PJ to Wangsa Maju before I came to KL just to make sure where I was going to study and where I was going to stay were okay. What did I do to deserve this? I don't need to do anything because simply, she is my aunt and I am her niece. Full stop. Even until today I have no doubt, if we need any sort of help they will help us too. In fact, now that we are old enough, I'm glad to say, we are helping them back in many ways! :)

I think It's important for kids to feel like they are always loved and cared by people around them, especially close relatives, just like I always do. Hence, I shall pledge to make sure my future son will feel very much loved by not only his parent, but people around him too!

#4 Be Happy because of the Simplest Reason
Point #3 brings us directly to point #4.

While Papo and Mamo had their moments of being angry, sad or the non-stop mumbling that we hated, I find that the five of us laugh quite easily at every single small jokes or stupid matters. It's true! Deardo is always left speechless when we can laugh like crazy at something that he thinks isn't funny at all!

My point is, there is no way in life that everything can be so perfectly perfect, just like the way you want it to be but when you frown, you cry or when you take things too seriously, you are just making things worst. I mean, I'm sure Papo and Mamo went through tough times in their lives, especially bringing us three up, but they have never failed to make dumb jokes (I'm telling you, the older they get, the lamer they are now okay), laugh and in turns, make us follow their footsteps and always carry a positive vibes with us. And when you have that positive vibes, people love to be around you more!

Every single night now whenever I pray for our future son, I pray that he will be a happy kid cos I think that's easily one of the most important characters anybody should carry with them. :)

#5 Give Back to Your Seniors When You are Capable Enough
See, I grew up looking at Mamo and Ah Ma fighting over paying for a meal, like literally almost every meal we had outside. Mamo and her siblings too, 'practice' this 'ritual' a lot that it is so scary that one of them (normally my mum lar, who else) would sometimes pretends that she was going to the loo but actually went to the counter to pay in advanced so nobody else can pay before her.

I strongly believe this act of sincerity, especially out of respect to your seniors is very important. Imagine, these are the people who have been paying everything for you since you were a baby - pampers, baby clothes, meals, up till university education! Now that you are old and capable enough, won't you feel there is a need to pay back?

I'm not saying you have to pay for everything lar unless you are dirt rich then that's fine. But personally, I feel it is a sense of achievement both to yourself and to your parents/relatives if you are able to give them simple treats like a meal treat or bring them on an all-paid trip somewhere. Most of the time when my parent are in town I'd make sure I pay for their meals but if they want, they can pay for coffee and desserts afterwards, which are often cheaper because duh, they are my parent who have probably forked out millions and millions of money to bring me up and gave me the education that I desired.

But what I vividly remember was my first treat to my 4e and Ah Ma back when I got my first official pay, when she said to Ah Ma something like how proud they should be feeling right now that their niece and granddaughter is capable enough of buying them a proper meal already! Wuah, I tell you, that made my day man!

Recently my lil' sister, Vivian had her moment too as she paid for a Korean lunch as a treat for the family since she just got confirmed by her company! Must have been a proud moment for my parent!

So I really hope that our future son would grow to become a successful kid, yet knows how to appreciate his parent and relatives who would be treating him well throughout the years and knows how to give back to them, at least once in a while. :)

#6 Don't Spoil Your Kid 
I've heard of so many stories these days about kids who are unwilling to do some simple chores at work, so much so that they change jobs so easily, mainly because they have been spoiled their whole life without anybody asking them to do so at home. To put it simple, they were groomed like and to become a princess or prince.

Mamo was a 100% 'rapper mum' to us. Every Friday after school, she starts 'rapping': "soak your school shoes and socks, soak em' now or you will forget!" A day after she will then say "Wash your shoes and socks up, do it now and hang them outside or they will not dry off on time. Oi! Do it now!" Hahaha... It was so annoying but I'm sure you know what I mean! :p And she never spoiled us in any ways - we had to help clean the house, clean the toilets, cook, do gardening, clean the car and even sometimes paint the gates under the sun whenever needed too.

And I'm really proud to say that all these house works have make us more independent and less spoiled. It makes things easier when we started working part-time during college and university time at restaurants especially where not only bosses and customers can be difficult, but the amount of standing, walking around, and the cleaning can be so tedious you feel like giving up. But to Ducum and I at least, we adapted quite well and we understand that these are just small things to sacrifice to finally get your well-deserved pay at the end of the day! In fact, until today where we work in an office, you still can't run away from doing some work that are possibly sounding a bit offensive for a degree holder to do but we still do it because those are not even the hardest things we've ever done in our lives!

In fact, it would be even better if my son can learn from his papa and become very 'resourceful', fixing almost every single stuff at home, from assembling Ikea furniture till fixing the toilets, etc. His papa is a REAL MAN in this sense and I hope my son will grow to become a REAL MAN too! *wink~*

Sure, I'll love my son a lot like he is my prince, but I want to learn not to spoil him at the same time, I want my son to be a capable man in the future where house chores isn't a problem and let him learn hardship at work is only necessary for a better future.

It is of course, easier said than done, but fingers-crossed I will be able to past some of these good values down to my son. :)

So what are some good parenting quality you have learn from your parents too?

No Regrets

I'm not very good at writing sentimental stuff but since today is the National Day of Mourning for the victims of MH17 as the bodies return home, the grief has been refreshed and I think it would be good to share some thoughts.

First of all, while I haven't mentioned this in my blog or on any social media platforms, I'm still extremely sad and upset over this whole incident. I remember how I couldn't hold back my tears in church when our Pastor started talking about how heartless these people can be in shooting down these innocent lives. And believe me, in the end of the day the people responsible will just run away free. Worst of all, the world now has more killings and wars going on that make me wonder where has humanity disappears into?

Secondly, the recent flight incidents have taught me one thing, and that is, to appreciate every second you have with your loved ones because things could change the next second itself! You do not want to regret anything later on in your life!

I, myself have regretted some stuff that I've done that have wasted some precious time and someone's life, as well as creating pain and scar on my loved ones. It's quite painful to talk about it but here they are...

#1
In kindergarten I was chosen to give the BM version of graduation speech and was supposed to be part of the dance group for a competition. I chickened out on both.
- Regretted it because graduation video only has someone else delivering the speech and my kindergarten's dance group went on to win the competition. Would have been great achievements in my CV! 

#2
When I was probably 10-12 years old, I became this introvert kid (or probably just a phase in a kid's life) who refused to go out for afternoon tea and walk with my late grandfather when he invited me to. I can still vividly remember the look of disappointment on his face every single time I said 'NO'.
- Regretted it so so much because he passed away quite suddenly when I was 12 and I will never have a chance to have afternoon tea or afternoon walk with him anymore. If I could turn back time, I would say a zillion times 'YES' whenever he asked if I want to join him for afternoon tea/walk! *choke~*

#3
When I was in Form 3 busy studying for my PMR, I had a huge argument with my dad because the silly me thought he loves my younger sister more than me just because he scolded me for not helping her on her homework.
- Regretted it because it left a scare in our relationship but we all know that my dad obviously loves me more than anyone else... I LOVE YOU PAPO!!! *tears~*

I realised after these experiences, I have not regretted anything big in my life. I'm always either doing something crazy because I don't want to regret not doing it or I chose to believe better things will come even though I may regret it earlier. But things like life and time will never turn back, like how I've missed hanging out with my late grandfather but it will never happened anymore...

So, have you ever done or not done anything that you regretted so much? I think it's time to fix it. NOW.

HAPPY!!! :D

Happy Monday people~!!!

Did you realise it is already July in just a blink? Time past waaaaaay too fast that I couldn't even remember what happened over the past few months. It feels like our wedding was just yesterday but it is actually soon going to be a year since last October! Phew~!

Our wedding is partially the reason I'm typing this entry. And by wedding I meant H.O.N.E.Y.M.O.O.N.

Yes, we have not gone for our honeymoon a.k.a well-deserved holiday yet. Work trips aside, the last trip Deardo and I went together was to Perth two years ago. Even this blog is screaming for a holiday post!

We wanted it to be a grand holiday to somewhere far in stead of settling for Bali or Phuket even though I agree they are great places for honeymoon. I know personally that this grand trip is important because we want to be a little selfish first and spend quality time together well before even start planning for a little monster and sacrifice every penny and every second for the little one. 

And I'm really thrilled to announced that our honeymoon have been CONFIRMED and it will be in September this year!!! Yay~!!!

Where are we going you ask? Let me tell you later. But I can tell you the trip costs us a bomb. When we were buying the air tickets, we realised how cheap it is for Singaporeans who are buying them with Singaporean Dollars and whined about how unfair it is even until today. It is no wonder how my friends who are working in Singapore can afford so many overseas trips a year and even tour Europe just like that while we suffer to even go to one city (tip to our honeymoon destination #1). We even talked about leaving KL to work in Singapore and blah blah blah...

Now that we have done booking the tickets, we are still cracking our heads to find nice yet affordable accommodation at the destination. And for the trip's sake we have been eating cheaper and I have to learn to cut down on shopping (which is obviously killing me).

For all these, we blame our country, we blame our currency and sometimes we blame ourselves for not coming from rich families... But at some point I will always come back to the positive me. 

I'll tell myself and Deardo why complain about our country and currency when you can just leave and go on and stay in Singapore, going back to renting a tiny room over there? Why complain about expensive trip when well I could go on and pick a cheaper place to travel to? Why complain about not having rich parents who can sponsor our trips when we can feel the sense of achievement and pride spending our own money for our own honeymoon?

I started to think of the brighter side of the entire matter. Like, how blessed am I having a stable job with a decent pay that can still send us all the way to our honeymoon's destination nonetheless. How blessed am I having such a loving husband who chose the destination that is mainly my choice of destination (tip #2) and how blessed are we to be able to go out and see the different side of the world when some unfortunate people can only dream of doing...

Photo Credit: Pinterest.

At the end of the day, a lot of the stuff in life are by choice. 

We chose to go for an expensive getaway.

We chose to enjoy ourselves because you only live once (YOLO is my favourite term NOW). 

We chose not to regret when we grow old.

And most importantly we chose to treat ourselves better and be HAPPY. 

Yep, even though it means giving up a lot of stuff but I rather we do it now when we still can!

And I really do think the choices you make will make whole loads of difference in your life. I've seen too many people around me choosing the wrong option and suffer. Worst is when they whine about life and put the blame on people who have better life than them, when it can be a totally different story if they have chosen another option earlier on.

Do you want to choose a course that is not your choice to study and suffer failing its exams and doing something you dislike as a career?

Do you want to buy a cheaper car although you can add on just a little bit more to buy a better car then regret later that you have not own a nice car in your entire life?

Do you want to save your money now for your kids and keep your dream holiday till when they are older then regret it when your useless kids grow till 20ish and still spending your money which makes it impossible for you to spend on yourself?

Or on an extreme note, do you want to hold on to your hard earned money in your bank account and regret not able to enjoy them when you suddenly die tomorrow *touch wood*?

You know there is a Chinese saying that goes 先苦后甜 (Bitter first, then sweet - Suffer first, then enjoy) but you know how many decades ago did the Chinese came up with this inspirational phrase? The fellar doesn't have any idea then how technology, diseases, natural disasters, accidents and many more factors could kill human before they could grow old, let alone to enjoy life. You see, today, if you put that phrase onto dining habits, studies have also found that having your dessert or fruits after meal will slow down digestion and suggest that we have desserts and fruits before having your meal, which means it should be 先甜后苦 (Sweet first, then bitter - Enjoy first, then suffer)! 

Of course, I'm not saying you should now use up all your money to buy your dream car or go on your dream holiday but if you can actually afford it, and if it actually makes you happier, then what the hell are you waiting for? *insert Linkin Park screaming~* YOLO you know!!! 

It is YOUR CHOICE. You choose what makes you happier. 

Photo Credit: International Day of Happiness.

And here are the choices we had to choose from for our long-overdue honeymoon...

1) U.S.A because I want to meet Ellen DeGeneres

2) Germany because he wants to visit Michael Schumacher at the hospital

3) Japan because we want to make sure the fish we are having comes with complimentary radiation 

4) Maldives because they are the only country in our list that is not in the World Cup.

5) Greece because Greek yogurt are healthier

Guess which one did we choose? 

13 Unforgettable Experiences During My Work Trips

It's been almost two months since I returned from Taiwan and about three weeks from Singapore for work purposes. Words can't explain how tiring these work trips were. A LOT of makan-ing and A LOT OF walking, like serious walking! It doesn't help too to fall sick before and during the Taiwan trip...

Anyway, I'm a bit lazy to do a serious entry on the trips, so let's do it the Buzzfeed way (again)!

14 Unforgettable Experiences During My Work Trips

*Drum roll please~~~*

In Taiwan
1) These Awesome Beverage Packaging

Shirlexia holding the Mandheling Coffee that looks more like a moisturiser bottle!

For a few seconds I thought they were beauty products!
... Because Taiwanese Boleh!!!

2) Went to Kaohsiung (for the first time) by Train

Pleasant and speedy ride. Peaceful city.

3) Tried the World Cup-Winning Bread at Wu Bao Chun.

It was great, mostly because there were rum in it. Non-Halal stuff FTW maybe???

4) Witnessed Taiwanese in Long Qs just for Breads

Because again, Taiwanse boleh and I tak boleh. Me ain't bread lover that's why!!! ==|||

5) The Amazingly Yummy Kidney Meal. Slurp x 100000000000000000

DROOLING~~~

So excited I went blur!!! 

A dish so common in Taiwan while we can only have them during confinement month. Sigh... 

(My colleague just asked me to get pregnant fast just so I can eat more kidney. Siao man, siao... But that really will be fun, one day!)

6) Found and Ate the Same Beef Noodle We Had During our Last Trip

It was walking distance from our hotel and we only found out second last night of us in Taipei. It was one of our favourite food we tried back then and it is still as awesome as it is!!! Want proof? I had food poisoning before the trip and fell sick in Taiwan because of the cold weather and couldn't finish most of my meals but this beef noodles to me was 'mou man tai' to finish!!! *BIG HUGE GRIM~*

7) Must Do #OOTDs 

Polka Dots knitted top from Forever 21.

Mint top from Forever 21, pants from Zara, shoes with lace details from Rocha John Rocha by Debenhams.

Over coat from H&M, blue dress from Dorothy Perkins, stockings with ribbons prints possibly from Forever 21 and shoe from Rocha John Rocha by Debenhams.

Just because I wear absolutely different stuff in Taiwan because it was super pretty cold!!!

8) Went to a Supermarket and Stock'em Taiwanese Products up! 

Cos we love them and they are cheaper in Taiwan???

In Singapore

9) Oriole Coffee

Freshly roasted and brew to suit my liking. LOL!

Tasted extra good because I got the cuppa for free just by dropping a business card at their booth at the FHA 2014! :p

10) This Church's 'Smart' Marketing

Walked past the church everyday to get back to the hotel and I must say Jesus truly, is very up-to-date and tried His best to relate to youngsters nowadays.

Amen???

11) The Famous Katong Laksa

The cockles, prawns and fish cakes tasted so different too! Thank god I've got relative like Ah Ku to bring me to some local awesomeness!!! 

12) The Old Friends Gathering

Selfie that needs two hands? Failed lo...

Never felt any tired chatting and gossiping with them! 

13) The Cousin Sisters' Selfiesssss

Did I give them my phone willingly or did they hijack my phone plus Instagram?
And those captions they used! Those tongue... So hot? WHEEEEERRRT?

Well that's all from me.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND YOU GUYS! :D

Mostly OOTDs + Some Happenings

If you are following me on Instagram, you should be able to see some of my OOTDs. I don't do it on a daily basis, but whenever I feel like its a fresh coordinate or whenever I'm wearing a new piece, I'll do an OOTD.

So anyway, here are just the few OOTDs I have posted on IG over the past few months...

Wore this really elegant yet sexy dress with sheer details from Dressing Paula to Maggie's wedding and it really looks like I was standing on a red carpet isn't it? :p Clutch from Aldo, heels from Zara, earrings from Forever 21 and necklace from a bazaar.

Maggie's wedding was although a typical Chinese banquet, was quite an interesting one with a Doraemon theme, since she is an avid Daraemon fan.

Giant Poster backdrop and Dorayaki were just some of the highlights at the wedding.

Maggie was my classmates back then at The Voice Academy when we were both taking hosting courses with Karen also in the class. So the wedding was a great opportunity to catch up with our fellow classmates and teacher.

Some photos taken with old friends at the wedding!

Here's the next OOTD...

Got into the hang of long/maxi dresses ever since finding one for our wedding, and this black with gold polka dots maxi from Tee Too was the first casual one to join my wardrobe. Belt was an old one don't know from where, bag from Gucci (ah, Christmas gift from Deardo Wong yo~!) and old wedges from Charles & Keith.

This is me in a long sleeve (which is very rare) ombre effect top from i-Perfect, shorts from Zara and cute pastel purple and white show from Top Town Shoe and Gucci bag, as usual.

Also very rare that I wear long pants but I really couldn't resist this really nice patterned pants from Zara! I wore it with my old Cotton On peplum top, Charles & Keith wedges, Gucci bag and an old necklace.  

I saw this lovely jock-strap back dress in many online shops but I got mine from Kei Mag. It's proven that I recently just have a thing for details at the back! Heels from Zara, necklace from Promod, Gucci bag and an old headband. 

I was at Delicious for a hi-tea with Karen. Bought the Groupon deal to pamper ourselves with a relaxing Sunday hi-tea. Environment at Dua Residence was not bad despite the place looking a bit old but personally think the hi-tea is overrated. We ordered extra stuff though... Boy we must have been very hungry! :p

I called it us acting as 'tai tai' for a day! :p

Okay, enough of food commercial break...

Here I was wearing a really cool and unique dress from F Block with an old belt, Charles & Keith wedges, Gucci Bag and earrings from Forever 21. Check out the details on the dress cos they are the reason I actually bought the dress! 

And my latest addition to my maxi collection is this sweet yellow maxi from Mimosa Closet! Very girly and very Spring! I paired it with my H&M belt, sandals from Principle by Debenhams, Gucci bag and Diva headband. 

And then, I realised I didn't post anything about CNY this year except for our syok-sendiri fashion shoot!
Like it or not, it did feel weird during CNY as someone's wife and daughter-in-law. Reunion dinner with a different group of people with entirely different-looking dishes on the dining table was quite a sad experience but yea I guess a lot of you girls or women out there understand that it's just part of life. In fact we are actually quite lucky because we are from the same hometown! I can't imagine how is it like for couples who come from different parts of the country! :S

A rather quiet and small CNY reunion dinner this year.

I should say I was lucky enough that Deardo was open enough to bring me home for short gatherings with my family almost every night. So I still get to eat some of my favourite home-cooked from Mamo and Ah Ma! :) I was also sleeping with my sisters for about two nights and had great fun laughing to sleep! LOL!!!

Mamo's Red Wine soup is simply unbeatable. Period.

The craziest and funniest thing in this photo of us on bed together was that this photo was taken by our Papo! 

We also gave out Ang Pows for the first time as a married couple. Extra money spent but you know what, I had extra fun giving out Ang Pows! Forcing the kids in my family to say nice wishes to us before getting their red packets was super fun! Hahahaha... Love that session really! :p

Uncle Deardo preparing to give out some red packets!

I don't remember why all these photos came, I think it was totally Deardo's idea..

See, I think everyone had fun at the Ang Pows session! Haha! 

And Lil' Jolie getting her Ang Pow too from 'Au Mou'...

Finally, had our annual CNY gathering this time around at McDonalds just because we wanted to escape the crazy crowd in town! Only 4 of us made it this year and once again I think as the only girl there that day, I owe a lot to Deardo who have given me a lot of freedom during CNY because some other girls were just busy with their in-laws! :)

And we found out we were too old to have good selfie skills... LOL!

So to my dearest Lao Gong, thank you very much! I know we have love each other more since we got married and I hope this will continue to grow stronger! YOU KNOW I LUP YA~! *wink~*

Us during CNY this year! :D

More CNY photos here!

That's all for now, ciao~!