Monday, June 29, 2015

Things They Didn't Tell You about after Giving Birth to a Baby

Hello you guys! Long time no see! 

Hello too, from a happy Rayden! :D
Judging from the period of time I've been absent from this blog, it's quite obvious that Baby Rayden has been keeping me very busy, especially these few weeks after my confinement month where I was left alone at home with the baby. I wasn't even someone who like crying babies so please imagine how depressing and discouraging it is trying to calm a crying baby down. Plus, him crying means you have to let go everything you have on hands, your housework, your work and even your meals. Yeap, it takes me at least 2 hours to finish my lunch nowadays. FML. Ah not to forget, I think it takes about a week to finally post this entry up! :S
Having lunch while carrying Rayden cos he ain't gonna keep quiet if you let him lying on anywhere alone.
At Rayden's mini full moon luncheon and him looking like oh, not another photo~! 
These days of me staying at home with a baby has made me a very pro-SAHM person. So don't you ever tell me SAHM is an easy job compared to your 9-5 office job, I'll argue with you kaw kaw! 
So when Rayden is sleeping, I blog while watching drama! 
Anyway, today I would like to warn talk about things that a mother has to go through after delivering a baby, which some of you mums-to-be may not know...

1) Nope, you can have your usual coffee (or alcohol) fix, just yet
Apart from Sashimi, coffee is another thing I really want to have in my daily life again after delivering the baby, until I saw this...
What do you mean by 'although it would be good to avoid totally'? Sounds totally like blackmailing me man! I've heard of many stories about the links between coffee and breastfeeding like your milk production will be cut into half or that your baby who drinks your caffeinated milk would end up not sleeping.
Quite normal to see this little fellar awake at 4ish in the morning like this during the first month...
Sleeping soundly here with papa, the baby whisperer.
Until the other day I went to see my doctor for a post-natal check-up she told me I can pretty much eat normally now I went like OH SCREW IT and I certainly didn't turn back since then. Of course, I don't have coffee on a daily basis now, just whenever I feel like and trust me, milk production hasn't been any lesser and I don't think it's the reason if Rayden doesn't sleep.

2) Nope, you can't wear your sexy and seducing bras, just yet
Fine, I've expected that it would take some time to be able to fit into my pretty dresses again, but honestly, I didn't expect my boobs to grow bigger than when they were during pregnancy. So it's absolutely impossible to fit into my old bras (and old dresses too) and I kinda have a feeling they will shrink even slower than my tummy. :S Only bonus here is, nursing bras, although looking quite aunty-ish, are very comfy.
Saggy boobies are the highlight of this family portrait.

3) Breastfeeding isn't easy at all
Fine, I admit I was damn lazy to do research about BF before this. All I know is BF is good for both baby and mother so I bravely went on with the plan to BF. And then it struck me, the first day we returned home. It was so hard to get Rayden to latch on me and my milk supply was almost zero. Deardo was the first to jump in and questioned me why aren't there milk when I have such big boobies and why his sister who is smaller size has milk and I don't? Stupid men, I tell you, they don't process their words before the blurt them out. It was so hurtful it made me cry like crazy but that's okay, he apologized after that and milk supply came pretty much right after that first day.
Devastating begining to my breastfeeding journey...
My milk giving Rayden a good milk coma...
And being a breastfeeding mum, you face sore boobs, saggy and ugly boobs, leaking problems, and you have to pump quite on time. So even when baby doesn't wake up in the middle of the night, your almost-exploding boobs will force you to wake up to pump. I always say I look like a zombie cow pumping milk at night...
Leaking is a first world problem, aye?
So all these experiences taught me one important thing - never judge. Never judge mums who have decided to just feed their kids formula milk cos hey, BF isn't easy and not everyone has the patience and time for it. Nobody can judge you, not even your husband. BF only if you feel like or you want to. Also, every woman's body is different, so don't ever compare yourself with others. Just do what you think is right for you. *wink~*

4) Traditional CINA confinement could kill you (or your will to give birth again)
Now, not that I didn't expect this, just that I found it much tougher than expectations. Let me break this down into few categories:
Proud Ah Gong and Ah Ma! :)

The loneliness
Yes, it was a very lonely journey because you are not allowed to sit where normal people sit (because there's probably a fan nearby) and most of the time you eat alone.
Because the food comprises of nothing but sesame oil, ginger, wine and more ginger - nobody would want to share that with you. So Mamo who cooked for me during my confinement month did join me sometimes but most of other times I had to eat alone because Deardo would go have his fun eating out or with his family. I was shedding tears at the dining table alone, imagining myself being a bullied kid in high school sitting alone at one corner at the canteen, just like in those American TV shows. BLOODY DEPRESSING...
Thank god for all the friends and family, and a Kai Ma who came to visit and made me feel better! :)
Plus, everyone else can go out except for you. You are literally CONFINED.

The no-shower rule
If Deardo and MIL aren't those very traditional Cina, I won't have this kinda problem. I mean, I'm not judging you who follow all these rules cos I did hear people who really have body problems because they didn't follow the rules. But scientifically and logically thinking, this rule isn't logic at all.
Someone told me before that this rule applies because in China they have cold seasons so it's understandable if you want them to not shower, but this is freaking Malaysia there is no way you can skip shower for so long and I'll be the first one to second that theory!
Baby Rayden sure enjoy his bath while the mummy isn't allow to do so! Hmmm...
Wefie with mummy?
Not being able to shower regularly gives you bad odor, dandruff and hell lot of bacteria and you tell me how is that good for your baby when you are constantly carrying or even breastfeeding him/her? I really couldn't help but wonder if Baby Rayden got his rashes on his face earlier on from me because I wasn't clean at all.

The heaty food
To add salt to the no-shower rule, your food are also purposely made to be super heaty. I mean, I got Mamo to come take care of me because I prefer her cooking, and that I can order her to be creative with the food, but still we can't run away from those heaty ingredients, especially GINGER, GINGER and GINGER.
Mamo's cooking was awesome! More about that later yo! 
It's already painful enough that I hate ginger in the first place, and to have those meals under a no-fan situation is like asking you to eat some super spicy food in a sauna room. By the end of your meals, you aren't even sure those in your mouth are sweat of soup...

I'm trying to be neutral here but at times I don't agree with all these CINA rules because hey, who doesn't have body pain when you grow old? How sure are you that those pain are because you didn't follow the confinement rules? Ah, when I told Deardo about this he would say so go ahead and don't complain to me when you really have body ache later on! Again, it's black-mailing. Everything after you give birth just sound like whole loads of black-mails. ==|||

5) The pain doesn't just end there
So you think pregnancy gives you loads of pains - backache, swollen legs, nausea, etc until you went through labour which was oh-so-painful you feel like it's the pain-est thing in the entire world. Fine, I agree that kinda pain is something really extraordinary but if you think the pain ends there then you are so so wrong.
Nope, he definitely didn't get those long fingers from me.
Apart from the confinement month pain (probably the worst one), you have stitches down there or on the tummy (if you went through c-sec), sore boobs, plus all kinda other pain like becoming domesticated (going out become such a pain), taking care of your kid especially at night and oh yeah, not to forget the many more years of taking care of your kid, making sure that he is always safe and healthy. Phew~ That responsibility!
Strolling around with mummy! 
And studying the menu with papa!
Feeding in the mall LIKE A BOSS!

6) Acronyms now has different meanings
I find this very funny cos my ex-colleagues Maddy, Lea and I are in this Whatsapps group where Maddy and I who are now mummies always share about our mummy and babies stuff and Lea reminded us about this this acronyms thingy.
BF doesn't mean boyfriend anymore, it's breastfeeding. DL isn't download, but direct latch. So yes, when you become a mother maybe your social conversation will become really weird.

Kai Ma Karen's cupcakes became props for some cute photos! Rayden has creative parent I must say. Blek! 
Well, of course all these unfortunate and painful experiences kinda paid off whenever you see your baby smiling or responding to you and soon they will achieve all kinda stuff to make things well worth it. I guess to me, my hope for Rayden is simple - for him to grow healthily, happily and achieve whatever he is able in his life. :)
The story here is funny - the moment Rayden's moth started to narrow down like he was going to cry, 3e and Eu Jin started to laugh and that sort of gave him a shock and he stopped crying and just starred at them. LOL!

Okay, now's time to spam you with some photos of my cute little fellar, who has definitely grown pretty 'well' over the past two months! :p
Less than a month here...
In a very good mood yo!
The artsy don't-look-at-the-camera photo.
Oh hi!
I'm upside down cos that makes me sexay???
Refused to sleep at night again...
You can't go wrong with a yawning baby pic, they are cutest!
My thumb is finger-licking good yo! 
Am I? Am I cute and cuddly? 
Love it when he is so happy and excited!
Yay! :D
Will find time to blog again soon!


LayJinG said...

妈妈真伟大! 现在的你,应该有深刻的感受了! 哈哈~ I am sure you are the good mother! And I am agree that CINA rules not logic, need amendment accordingly!

ShiRLeXia said...

Yea lor Lay Jing! Many more years to go...

Kan? Glad that you agree too!